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Archive for May, 2009

That was my anticipated menu today, a very tangible back-up plan, just in case the very real possibility materialized that the stats were against me this month. It’s good to have goals. But it’s also good to have a plan B, possibly a plan C for shifting attention when things don’t go exactly as you’d like. My mom taught me this by flawless example… actually, I just assumed things always worked out for her, until she finally declared in response to my bleating adolescent sadness on the topic “I always have a Plan B!” Oh. Right. Well, me too.

I didn’t go running out for beer and oysters today, just to be sure that this bleeding is really the usual vs. some rare zygotistic Sign of Adjustment during the Uterine Implantation Process. Yes, we’re getting technical around here. Turns out pregnancy tests are not 99% accurate, by the way, despite the claims on every box. So I stayed in oysterless limbo all weekend. But I’m pretty sure now that I’ll be buying sitting down for raw, mercury-laden shellfish sometime this week, and reserving a couple of new frozen vials on Monday.

That said, it was nice to have the weekend not to stress about the low availability of my favorite donor. Yes, I’m cheating on Van. He’ll never know. Turns out there’s just a handful of vials (just 4) available of the one I slightly, secretly preferred the first time around. Wasn’t in stock. I called him Ravi, for no discernible reason. So Monday morning, Ravi it is.

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Being a little less astonished by the way a cervix communicates this time around, I was cool and collected last Sunday when the anticipated Signs of Fertility announced themselves. Last time – was that February already?? – I managed to miss the passage in my fertility book that suggests waiting – no really, wait – for the pee stick to show the hormone tide is rising. This contradicts the statement that “most women wait too long.” Well, it seems these intensely vivid internal signs of fertility will actually hang out for a while, in my case mid-day Sunday all the way through Tuesday night, at least.

So here’s how the 90M gametes were dispatched this time:

. A cervical change on Sunday reassured me I was actually paying attention, despite having long-ago rejected Inconvenient Temperature Tracking and a wide range of woo-woo indicators (Phases of the Moon, Vivid Dreams, Inordinate Horniness, Hunger Pangs, Ovulatory Knocking). I held off, took notes, and planned to take Monday off (um, yeah, very relaxing. See below).

. Monday I tracked at the same time roughly and saw more cervical readiness signs, started peeing on ovulation sticks at every opportunity. Frequent infusions of tea didn’t help this process much, completely diluting my output, and neither did a hot bath right before bed. Nevertheless I went to sleep assuring myself (with all the accumulated wisdom of my 6 months experience) that it would happen soon and set my clock for a 6am test, intending to tango with the spermcicles before work if I could stir a thumbs-up from the ovulation kit.

. 4am woke up spontaneously (so much tea!), peed, kit turned! Freed a vial from the tank, set it on the kitchen counter while groggily preparing a pillow and towel and needleless syringe. Rearrange pillow. Exchange syringe for the other one (they gave me three and maybe this one isn’t sterile now that I’ve breathed on it…)

. 5am inseminated on my own and attempted sleep for 2 more hours, hips raised on a pillow, recognizing that this isn’t nearly as fun as a torrid middle-of-the-night snuggle fest, but still oddly satisfying. Went to work.

And then 7pm rolled around and it was time for another IUI, courtesy of a much savvier midwife. We met at her friend’s house – apparently the clinic was busy – so she prepped paperwork at the kitchen table, I settled myself on the high white bed, now an expert at perching just so on a pillow. She did a few dishes as we waited for the thaw… no proclamation that the “little guys” on the counter would be lonely or unmotivated to do their job due to countertop isolation. A satisfyingly subtle engagement all around.

She assured me there were still abundant signs of fertility as she readied the long-nosed syringe, and quietly, it was done.

I forgot to mention, these two vials were collected on my birthday in 2007. A woo woo factor perhaps? My favorite so far.

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