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Archive for November, 2009

I realize it’s a little early for me to be proud of my multi-celled offspring, but it seems I’ve got a real overachiever here. We’re going to have to have a heart-to-heart about work/life balance.

Had my first blood draw today, ordered by the fertility clinic, so the nurse calls me this afternoon saying, “We like to see a number over 50.” She pauses. “Yours was 594.”

Um. That’s over 50. Good? (I ask this instead of wondering what exactly we’re measuring)

“Yes, and we want to see that double.”

Okay, we’ll get right on that.

 

And one more test on Thursday before getting the bird started, and then we can start making predictions. Of course I’ve already mapped everything out on my calendar, looks like week 40 is end of July… and yes, it’s actually happening!

Meanwhile, you could possibly be wondering about symptoms… I don’t know if I mentioned this, but for a week or so before testing I occasionally felt a bit of a Uterine Twinge. Yes, very technical, I know. Not exactly a cramp, not just a hello. Enough that I noticed it. Rumbling perhaps. That, instead of sore breasts or anything else you read about, so I didn’t assume much. Also I’ve been hungry, thirsty, and tired. But what else is new??

I was woozy in the grocery store and demanded a drink (organic, thank you) from D while I was standing in line. Yes, apparently the demands start now. Oh so lucky to have indulgent friends! Thanks, by the way, for all the love and support. It’s better than any birthday I’ve ever had (except for maybe that 16th surprise party, but honestly, that kinda freaked me out).

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!!!

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i’m going with “maybe”

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recent events

I think I’m actually getting good at this. If Trying To Get Pregnant is an acquired skill, then I’ve acquired it… the Trying part, that is.

This month, I’m not even thinking about it, really. I have an odd sort of confidence that if it doesn’t work this time, it will next time.

Getting that HSG test helped – seeing through the x-ray that the equipment is in there and that it has all the right connections and whatnot… even if it is a little squished to one side, I’m not complaining.

Oh, and I made the brilliant adjustment (why didn’t I think of this sooner?!) of picking up the sperm on the other side of the bridge a few weeks before my insemination, so I wouldn’t have to do it all in one week, racing around between an ultrasound and an IUI appointment. Lots of altered variables to shake it up this time around. My tubes have been roto-rootered. My letrozole dose is a little higher this month, and I have a new donor, whose attributes I’m not even stressing over. Frankly, I can’t remember what they are. The girl at the sperm bank thinks I’d like him and the guys at the lab where he donates think he’s the bomb. Good enough.

Oh, so the other change was an HCG shot – which means a tummy injection the night before the IUI to help with timing ovulation. I received the package via FedEx on Halloween morning, a huge box containing a wad of alcohol wipes, a boxy sharps container, and a silver bag with two ice packs containing my small syringe. Refrigerate immediately. So I did, and didn’t worry about it too much. I thought. Meanwhile, I had friends lined up to help me in case it got scary.

The night of the injection I was watching TV with D, paused the disk at 10pm and said, it’s time. So I sat on the bed with a bit of tummy pinched and let her prep the needle, then proceeded to melt into a weird infantile regression, laughing while tears streamed down my cheeks, wrestling freakishly with the anticipation. D waited patiently, needle held aloft. I finally let her do it and of course it didn’t hurt. At all. But I had to hide my face behind a pillow and mumble “are you done are you done are you done” until it was over. In my defense, I’m sure something about a needle to the stomach is simply counter-intuitive.

Anyway, there are wonderful brave women all over youtube demonstrating how to do this (without dramatic grinning tears), so if you want a good teacher for your own sub-dermal injection, that’s where they are.

Meanwhile, I won’t know if I’m pregnant or simply having another round of boning up on my Trying skills until next weekend…

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I just woke from a dream of twins. Two little boys (always little boys in baby dreams all my life, but never two) called Mike and Carl. mikecarlNo, I didn’t name them. Though I went through much of the dream less concerned about who did than I was upset that these kids weren’t breast-feeding and yet they were already somewhere in the neighborhood of two months old. I wondered how I’d missed the opportunity to start and was feeling panicky that they wouldn’t be interested and I’d never get to try it.

I sense there’s a part of me that assumes we’ll play this Try To Get Pregnant game for a year or so, and then there will be a baby… or two. * Poof! *  So suddenly here we are, two kids and no strollers and a bunch of strangers are naming them for you because you haven’t been paying attention for two months.

As soon as I realized they weren’t breast feeding of course I wanted to try it, so held them up and – I’ll spare you the details, but honestly, they didn’t have a lot to work with. I couldn’t get any milk going, because I have no idea how to do that. Still, Carl did a pretty good job of latching on. Carl was already my favorite – he had the placid face of the little boy from Mad Men. Mike probably did too, but I was having a hard time getting a good look at him, as he always seemed to be in a routine with someone else.

Then I took Everyone Else in the dream to task for naming my kids Carl and Mike, while scouring a rather minimal library for something by La Leche League.

Funny what makes its way into your consciousness.

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